Matrimonial Sites vs. Dating Apps - Which is Better To Find a Christian Spouse?
You’ve made up your mind - it’s time to get married! But how do you even begin searching for the one, the lucky one you’re going to marry? (excuse the Gaston reference)
For one thing, there are SO MANY places to find people who are relationship-inclined! The most common options I can think of to find a potential spouse/partner are:
Clubs & bars
Church
Hobby groups
Matrimonial sites
Dating apps
But we also have the additional requirement of seeking someone equally-yoked - we’re not trying to get to bound to just anyone, especially not someone who frustrates and inhibits our spiritual growth.
So, keeping our Christian faith in mind, which is the best place to find a spouse? Let’s go down the list -
Clubs & bars - Clearly, clubs and bars don’t give you the *best* chances of finding a godly spouse (or even being godly) - gonna go out on a limb here and say this ain’t it.
Church - Definitely a viable option; but sometimes there may not be any eligible people available, or you may feel that actively seeking a spouse at church distracts you from your own spiritual growth.
Hobby groups - While you may meet a compatible-someone, it may be tougher to find your spouse-someone (i.e., someone who is a believer and is even considering marriage)
The last two - matrimonial sites and dating apps - are the heavy-weight contenders, the biggest, most-thriving pools of relationship-minded people. How do they stack up against each other?
💌Dating Apps vs. Matrimonial Sites💌
Dating Apps
Tinder, Hinge, Bumble - if you’re under the age of 40, it’s pretty likely you have heard of and/or even used one of them. These apps have essentially become the default dating landscape in the ‘West’ (still a bit complicated in the East, but becoming increasingly accepted).
Pros ✅
Mano a mano: Probably the biggest selling point of dating apps is the unbelievably quick access you gain to a potential relationship. Everyone on the app is there (presumably) for the specific goal of forming a romantic relationship.
Lack of the family barrier - Family is great, but it can be a bit awkward to have to go around/through them to get to the one you *actually* want to talk to (as we’ll see in matrimonial sites). Dating sites remove the hindrance of dealing with family members.
Cons 🚩
Commitment catastrophe - It’s not even a secret anymore - dating apps are notorious for being filled with commitment-avoidant and honestly ungodly people. People who are used to instant gratification and an endless buffet of options. While there may be a few who use the app to truly find ‘the one’ for them, many treat it as an outlet for meaningless, covenant-less hookups.
Too much swiping - Swiping can be incredibly addictive - it’s always flattering to your pride to see ‘who else’ is out there, lessening your desire to commit to ‘just the one’ (fueling the above problem). Apart from this, there is also the problem of having to waste your time weeding out the scores of unsuitable individuals who match with you.
Lack of clarity - Some participants take quite a while to reveal their true intentions and can misrepresent themselves. While this is true with practically any platform, there really isn’t much incentive for people on dating apps to explain their intentions. The lack of mandatory upfront details on many apps (like religion, expectations, etc.) further adds to the murkiness.
Lack of security - Another issue that crops up due to the lack of required details is safety - you have no way of knowing if the person is who they say are. Stalking, frauds and assault are some of the major issues dating apps can expose you to.
Matrimonial Sites
Far more common in the East than the West, matrimonials are the OGs of the relationship marketplace, progressing from newspaper classifieds to huge websites with millions of active members. While typically used for arranged marriages, the younger generations are now getting onto these platforms themselves and sparking their own connections.
(Shaadi & Bharath Matrimony are the biggies in India, but there are tons of smaller sites catering to local areas and communities).
Pros ✅
Greater proof of intention to marry - Like their very name suggests, these sites are made for marriage. While some do treat these as dating sites, the vast majority aims for marriage, and QUICK. This saves needless beating around the bush.
Verification processes - While not 100% foolproof (no site is completely secure), many sites implement stringent verification procedures (requiring you to talk to them on the phone, publicly rating your profile’s ‘confidence’ level, etc.) that enables you to make more informed decisions.
Family-added legitimacy and clarity - Family can be a blessing, and interacting with family members of a potential match kills two birds with one stone:
1. Verifying that this profile actually belongs to a marriage-seeking person with friends + family. and
2. Giving you a glimpse into the future in-law situation.
Cons 🚩
Family pressure and requirements - There’s a growing desire for independence in the millennial and Gen-Z generations - many want to find a match on their own, without the involvement of parents, aunts, uncles & third cousins. Indian/Asian families can be suffocating in the matrimonial process, especially when they place unbiblical restrictions on potential spouses (such as - must belong to a certain caste, must be “fair”, very wealthy, etc.).
Too many options - Some matrimonial sites provide THOUSANDS of matches a day (not even exaggerating) - as with dating apps, this buffet of options can be overwhelming and lead to a lot of wasted time.
Potential of fraud - Scammers are aplenty on matrimonial sites, bypassing the screening processes with convincing fake profiles. Sometimes, the sites themselves are the scammers, luring you into paid memberships with attractive fake profiles.
The Takewaway - Which One Wins?
This honestly is a close call, but I’d argue that the relatively better verification & marriage intention actually makes matrimonial sites the winner when it comes to searching for a Christian spouse - at least for Asians.
Regardless of the route you choose to take, what remains constant for the believer is this -
seeking the Lord’s will, even in this matter, will only ever result in ultimate GOOD to you,
whatever avenue he leads you down,
whether or not you even end up with a spouse.
You will not go wrong when you commit the desires of your heart to Him.
Believe that you’re called to find a helper? Our team at MatrimonyStation can assist you in your search by weeding out all unsuitable & fraudulent matches while protecting your privacy.
See how we may help save you time and effort in your spouse-search!