Love is blind, or is it? 5 Bible insights on the the place of attraction in love
Source: Netflix
Love is Blind, the hit reality show on Netflix needs no introduction to most people. The basic theory being tested is whether a relationship can be initiated and thrive, without the ‘blinders’ of appearances to distract. Participants have to commit to -
honestly seeking marriage and,
judging based on character and not on looks.
Only after a (completely) blind proposal has been made can both parties finally see each other in person, with the rest of the show to see if their initial attraction is strong enough to take them all the way to the altar.
This is a very interesting premise - but what do the results look like?
……Drumroll please…….
88% of those marriage-seekers could not commit to a long-lasting relationship/marriage, even after extensive time spent talking to and analyzing potential matches.
(This rate is actually higher if you include those who divorced soon after marriage!)
And what seemed to be the most common factor causing friction in relationships? Looks.
Every season typically had some drama involving looks (or the lack thereof) that wasn’t exactly mitigated by the ratings-driven producers.
To be honest though, it’s hard for all of us, living in this physical world, to completely disregard the messages being transmitted by looks. What we see can give us insight into *some* aspects of a person, such as their hygiene habits, personal priorities, social awareness, etc.
— But are looks really all that important, worth rejecting a person over? —
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t appreciate beauty in people - we’re literally hardwired to admire beauty (which generally is a combination of symmetry, healthy color, no missing parts, etc.) But how does it rank with other aspects of a person? Let’s take a look at what the Bible says on appearances:
God says it's a beautiful, gentle heart that is ‘precious’ to Him, not the outer.
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7
Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. 1 Peter 3:3-4
God says move over charm and beauty - it is a woman who fears the Lord who is worthy of praise.
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Proverbs 31:30
God shows how little he cares about human looks - by giving Himself a body lacking in beauty
For he grew up before him like a young plant, and like a root out of dry ground; he had no form or majesty that we should look at him, and no beauty that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Isaiah 53:2-3
God wants us to know we are wonderfully made, because He made each of us.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. Psalm 139:14
— What are the takeaways from this? —
Clearly, the inner self is DIAMOND in God’s eyes, and the outer counts for less than nothing with Him. So why wouldn’t we do what He does, and put our inner-self spectacles on when viewing humans?
I’m not saying this is always an easy process - most of us have been well-trained by the shallow world we live in to be, well, shallow!
But this is crucial to understand - this mindset is not from God.
To believe that looks are a person’s greatest asset is to actually DEVALUE the eternal soul behind the flesh, the soul made by God Almighty - not an attitude that will bear any sort of good fruit in our lives.
— So what is the place of looks when choosing a spouse? —
Simply put, not even on the list.
Why? Because it truly will not affect the quality of your marriage if you LOVE that person for who they are. For their godliness, strength of character, kindness, generosity - none of these things are in the slightest impacted by appearances.
And think about it - What if you marry someone partly because you were greatly attracted to their physical features - which, a few years into your marriage, are destroyed in a life-changing accident / deforming disease? Is the marriage over? Were the vows you made ‘till death (or disfigurement) do we part’?
God is the author of this thing we call love - so love that can’t transcend looks isn’t love at all.