“I love him, but I’m not sure…”: How to find out if they’re God’s match for you
Being alone is tough and for good reason - we’re created to thrive with our fellow humans. However, like any good thing, it’s easy to prioritize it far above what God wants for us. Many of us would do ANYTHING to not be alone, even if it means staying with someone who may not be God’s choice for us.
Here are some tips that may help you decide whether a person is meant to be your spouse:
Check if they match Scripture’s requirements of a believer: The Bible shows how believers ought to behave when they have truly been saved - is your loved one exhibiting these traits? Are they honoring God, seeking Him, obeying His commands, abstaining from sin and refusing to draw you into sin as well? Or are they a source of trouble, soul distress, someone you feel you constantly have to make excuses for? Ultimately, are they drawing you closer to your Father or pushing you away from Him?
Loosen your grip: Throughout the Bible, we see that God tests His children regarding the good things He has blessed them with - how would they act if the blessings were removed? Abraham with Isaac, Job with his fortunes and family, Joseph with his budding career, the disciples with their hope of status in this life. Christ also emphasizes the extremely loose hold we must have on life and all its possessions - “whoever hates his life will keep it, whoever seeks his life will lose it.”
Try this out with your potential spouse - take a step back from him/her and focus on God. Especially if it has been a volatile situation, this space will give you the peace to prioritize God above all, and the clarity to help you see what He has to show you about your choice of partner. This is a truth that you can rest on - if God wants you to have something, you WILL have it.
Reaffirm God as the main goal: Realize that with God, you will never go wrong and you will never miss out on what is best for you. No FOMO here! He is a good Father who loves to give good gifts to His children. Talk to Him about your desire for clarity regarding your partner, pray that He would reveal what He wants you to do, and trust that He will answer because Scripture said He will, when we ask with the right motives! (James 4:3). With constant communion with your God, the Spirit will give you the wisdom and direction on how to go forward.
Marriage is a beautiful thing if we have the person God meant us to have. But don’t let the fear of being alone lead into something far worse - being unequally yoked with an unbeliever. Ultimately, whether we end up getting married or staying single, all of us can rest on the promise that He who saved is definitely more than capable of ensuring that we live a joyous, radiant, well-utilized life, with or without a spouse - the LORD is our portion, what could we ever lack?