A new love can be intoxicating, but sooner or later, both parties awaken to the fact that their beloved is in fact, a human (gasp!). And like all humans, they will make mistakes and hurt others. It’s easy to let budding relationships and even decades-strong marriages crumble with unresolved hurt - hurt that may be 100% justified. But what does our Lord have to say to us about dealing with hurt? 

• Forget the bad: 1 Corinthians 13 says, quite plainly, that ‘love keeps no record of wrongs’. And Christ Himself says that no one can sin enough against us to drain up our forgiveness tank, that we have to forgive seventy times seven (!) if needed. It is basically intentional amnesia we are called to adopt as our attitude in life. I know this sounds practically impossible - but it can be done. How? By doing the following.

• Remember that you are safe: NO ONE has the power to hurt you - you who are a child of God. You are whole, worthy, holy and blameless - God Himself refuses to condemn you anymore but sees you as His heir, blessed with EVERY spiritual blessing. No one can touch your peace, your joy, your freedom in Christ. So no need to be afraid of being hurt if you love others too much, too forgivingly -  for God's unending love envelops you at all times. 

• Remember that He is good: God is not just good, He is unbelievably good to us. He doesn’t just care about us when we behave - He cares even when we mess up and spit on His face. Forgiveness of others comes easy when we remember just how much we ourselves have messed up - only for God to wipe it all away with His blood (Ephesians 4:32). There really is no sin anyone can commit against us that warrants us holding it over their heads as a grudge - we are in the humble position of the man who was forgiven his debt of TEN THOUSAND bags of gold - we have no right to demand a measly 100 silver coins from our fellow man/woman.

And that is the essence of it.

No desperate pumping of forgiveness out of a heart that is dry.

No fake mimicking of it in the hopes of pleasing God.

Being able to forgive comes from letting the goodness of God and security of His presence, along with the humbling remembrance of our own sinful, hurtful selves, overflow and wash away the pin pricks of other faulty humans.

This is the hallmark of true love, and our way to participate in the divine; in that which is the property of our perfect Lord - why not show the world a glimpse of this supreme love and forgive the way our Father has been doing, every single minute since the beginning of time?